From: Andrew 'Drew' South <ASOUTH@nsati2.ait.ac.nz>
OK, a couple of weeks ago someone asked for the Murphy's list of
combat ops. It took me a fortnight, but I finally tracked down my
(hard) copy of it (moral - NEVER tidy your room, you loose
everything). So, here they are :
Originally from Ratinox's page:
Well, that all of them as of my last printout.
- Friendly fire - isn't.
- Recoiless rifles - aren't.
- Suppressive fires - won't.
- You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.
- A sucking chest wound is Natures way of telling you to slow down.
- If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.
- Try to look unimportant, the enemy may be low on ammo and not
want to waste a bullet on you.
- If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike.
- If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall
- Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
- Never go to bed with someone crazier than yourself.
- Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
- If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
- The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.
- The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions :
- when they're ready
- when you're not.
- No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.
- There is no such thing as a perfect plan.
- Five second fuses always burn in three seconds.
- There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
- A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.
- The important things are always simple; the simple things are
- The easy way is always mined.
- Teamwork is esential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
- Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire. For this reason it is not
at all uncommon for aircraft carrieres to be known as bomb
- Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.
- If you are short of ebverything but the enemy, you are in a
- When you have secured an area, make sure that the enemy knows it
- Incoming fire has the right of way.
- No combat ready unit has every passed inspection.
- No inspection ready unit has every passed combat.
- If you are in range, so are the enemy.
- The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming
- Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.
- Things that must work together, can't be carried to the field
- Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support.
- Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially
- Anything you do can get you killed, including doing nothing.
- Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able
to get out.
- Tracers work both ways.
- If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get
more than your fair share of objectives to take.
- When both sides are convinced that they are going to loose,
they're both right.
- Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of
- Military Intelligence is a contridiction.
- Fortify your front, you'll get your rear shot up.
- Weather ain't neutral.
- If you can't remember, the Claymore is always pointing towards you
- Air Defence motto : shoot 'em down, sort 'em out on the ground.
- Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it'll go.
- The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.
- Napalm is an area support weapon.
- Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
- Snipers motto : reach out and touch someone.
- Killing for peach is like screwing for virginity.
- b-52's are the ultimate close support weapon.
- The one item you need is always in short supply.
- Interchangeable parts aren't.
- It's not he one with your name on it; its the one addressed "to
whom it may concern" you've got to think about.
- When in doubt, empty your magazine.
- The side with the simplest uniform wins.
- Combat will occur on the ground between two adjacent maps.
- If the Platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
- Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down,
never stay awake when you can sleep.
- The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with
a map and a compass.
- Exceptions prove the rule, and always destroy the battleplan.
- Everything always works in yopur HQ, everthing always fails in
the Colonel's HQ.
- The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.
- One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.
- A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain.
- The worse the weather, the more you are required to be outin it.
- Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you
short on ammo, you can't hit the broadside of a barn.
- The more a weapon costs, the further away you will have to send
it to be repaired.
- The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of
the weapon's operator.
- Field experience is something you don't get until just after you
- No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.
- If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove
- For every action there is an equal and opersite criticism.
- Airstrikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls
- When reviewing the radio frequencies you just wrote down, the
important ones are always illegible.
- Those who hesitate under fire usually do not wnd up KIA or WIA.
- The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't
know what they want, but they know for certain what they don't
- To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal
information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.
- The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is thte
- The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after
that billet is filled by someone else.
- When you have sufficent supplies and ammo, the enemy takes two
weeks to attack. When you are low on supplies and ammo the enemy
will decide to attack that night.
- The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the
Medal of Honour.
- A Purple Heart just proves that you were smart enough to think of
a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive it.
- Murphy was a grunt.
- Beer Math -- > 2 beers times 37 men equals 49 cases.
- Body count Math -- > 3 guerillas plus 1 probable plus two pigs
equals 37 enemies killed in action.
- The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater
than your diving range.
- All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather.
- The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the
smartness of its outfit and appearance.
- The crucial round is a dud.
- Every command which can be misunderstood, will be.
- Ther is no such thing as a convenient foxhole.
- Don't be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't volunteer
- If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to take the
enemy assault on, he will bypass you.
- If your ambush is properly set, the enemy won't alk into it.
- If your flank march is going well, the enemy expects you to
- Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of
- Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one.
- The more stupid the leader is, the more important the missons he
is ordered to carry out.
- The self-importance of a superior is inversely proportional to
his position in the hierachy (as is his deviousness and
- There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
- Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the
General is watching.
- The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you
broadcast on an unsecured channel.
- Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and
grenades always fall the farthest distance, the canteen always
lands at your feet.
- As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains.
- Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
- The seriousness of a wound (in a fire-fight) is inversely
proportional to the distance to any form of cover.
- Walking point = sniper bait.
- If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it
is usually a stupid solution.
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