New Trans Star Web Belts Make Your Ass Look Smaller

Friday, June 30, 2158

BOLTER, Chara (INN) - Traditionally, web belts are about, well, carrying gear into the field, but the Oceanic Union's Trans Star Enterprise's new GO Web Belts have another side to the picture.

Says Trans Star vice president of design, Lar Dass: "I set out to create a web belt where function really drives form, and not only did it work, but darned if it doesn't make your ass look smaller as well!"

"Not that I care about that," Dass added.

Smart use of piping and foam give the belts their unique shape, unsurpassed function, and slimming lines. Piping encircles the whole circumference of the GO Web Belts in one multi-wrapped, continuous loop, creating their distinctive appearance, and more importantly, ensuring the attached pouches are readily secured. The piping also serves the duel purpose of adding to the camoflage of the uniform by seperating contrasting colors.

"After the realization about this ass thing, it hit me there must be some psychology along the lines of, if you think your ass is smaller, you will fight that much harder," Lar Dass said. "All of our research indicates that it's the way the piping shapes the belt and breaks up the camo colors with clean, sweeping lines that contributes to the illusion that your ass is narrower than it actually is."

"Not that anyone's ass is any business of mine," Dass added.

Details on GO Web Belts include a removable electro-magneto battery pack holder (included for a change), a toothbrush loop, a wide-back support section, a Monte Carlo magneto-fasten cinching system and high-quality foam that won't absorb dirt. The belts are available in two sizes, with the larger of the two having a velcroed pocket for a few small ammo rounds, an energy bar or spare change.

"And to add to individualistic appeal, we'e also thinking about going with web belt vanity sizing: small and smaller," Dass said.

GO Web Belts will be available in spring 2159 in two color combinations: Blue/Black and off-natural Wasabi/Black. The two web belts retail to non-military personnel for 22 and 25 Credits.